Alright, so I just beat the world planking record. Easily.
Saw that the current planking record was something like just over ten hours, and that sounded like a decent enough way to kill time. Seventeen hours later, I finally just got bored and stopped. Don’t really see what the challenge is, but then I’m not…I mean, I’m not quite the same as them.
All I know now is I’m bored again and I need another hobby, because the call hasn’t come yet. I guess I could always go out to work on the car again, but it really is as souped up as it’s going to be. I bet if the garages for car servicing in Hawthorne could see this, they’d have kittens, because a lot of this technology probably shouldn’t exist yet. That’s why when I go out, I use the other car. The one that won’t raise any questions.
I should do that, actually. Go for a drive, maybe up to the mountains, get some wear and tear on the car and get out of the house for a change. I’m not really supposed to, but the people who made that rule have no idea what it’s like. I’ve absorbed every piece of information possible, to the point where daytime television actually removes knowledge from my mind. I watch as Darren confesses to Leona on The Spackler that he never really liked her idea of spackle that glows in the dark, and then the music swells and she’s standing there alone in the glade, surrounded by the scattered pages of the speech she was going to give about how glow-in-the-dark spackle was going to be revolutionary…and I feel like my brain is boiling, like an egg.
I want to go somewhere. And I want it to be somewhere I can drive, because driving in a car is something that normal people do, and I’d like to feel normal for a little while. Maybe I’ll have lunch in a cafe, like a normal person. Watch the sun set in the mountains like a normal person. Go to see a mechanic open in Malvern East, like a normal person…who lives in Malvern.
Any more time here and I will literally start climbing the walls.
-Mack