Tradie Ute Goals

I just bought a new ute, a real standard cheap one. I decided on a cheap ute for two reasons; firstly I’m low on funds seeing as I’m a third year carpenter, and secondly I am really into creating things from scratch.  My new project is going to be to deck out my car. I’m …

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Buying a Dungeon

Do you know how much a dungeon costs in Melbourne? It’s very expensive, and nobody takes Shield Coast platinum pieces here! That’s what ninety per cent of my wealth is in. And none of the local currency conversion businesses will do the exchange. I’ve had to get Earth money, and it wasn’t easy. No, I …

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Terribly Bad Ideas

I’ve been so stressed lately that I had to try something new. I might be my own boss, as Supreme Ruler of the Underworld, the Eternal and Undying Master of All Wickedness, Garthablog the Twenty-Seventh, but that doesn’t mean I am free of pressure. That pressure may be coming from my own mind, but imagine …

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A Tattoo Tribute

This month has been filled with immense pain and sorrow for my family and I. Our eight-month old puppy Bert, was hit by a car when someone had the gate open to take the bins out. Being the excited, happy and playful puppy that he was, he followed the sound of the bins rumbling against …

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Eye for Design

I’ve always had an eye for design. For many years I was ashamed to say that I wanted to be a designer, because I was told when I was young that design was for women and real work was for men. Being a young boy at the time, I was so disappointed in myself for …

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Offices of Melbourne

Today I had the pleasure of interviewing office workers for the ABRS (Australian Bureau of Random Statistics), to ask about their interior design. I’m not sure why the government needs to know about this stuff, but I guess that’s why we’re the department of random statistics. First, I got in contact with a man named …

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Random Windows

Things are always changing around here, at the Melbourne base of the Elders of the Internet. Our main group still lives in London, protecting the box that controls the internet, but a few of us had the compulsion to come to Australia. As our the first rule of our order is living a life in …

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Private Printing

I’m really glad I can do my printing in privacy now because it was getting pretty stressful. The things I get printed off at work are quite sensitive, and I’d get in a lot of trouble if I was seen using the company printing funds for personal purposes. But now that all of the windows …

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I Stand Out

It’s hard to miss me in a crowd. I would seriously even go as far as to say that I stand out. I’m six-foot-four, I have long red hair and I am absolutely covered in tattoos.  Believe me, when I say covered, I mean completely covered. Head-to-toe. I have hundreds of multi-coloured little pictures and …

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