DIY Debacle

I’m daunted by the DIY project I need to have completed in the next couple of weeks. My girlfriend just got a dog and wants me to build her a dog kennel. She thinks this is no problem and an easy job for me, because I may have told her when we first met that …

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Hybrid Mutant Flowers

I can not believe what I am seeing. All across the city of Melbourne, thousands of flowers are rising up and attacking human civilisation. I wish that we could show you live footage of these events, but unfortunately, we made some poor decisions that led to us delivering Channel 17 news only by this blog. …

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Dinner Party Ruse

Let me set the scene for you, its New Years Eve and I’m having my friends and their partners over for a dinner party. My friends and I are all in our early thirties now, so our years of party hopping are behind us. We used to manage to get ourselves invited to multiple parties …

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Tradie Ute Goals

I just bought a new ute, a real standard cheap one. I decided on a cheap ute for two reasons; firstly I’m low on funds seeing as I’m a third year carpenter, and secondly I am really into creating things from scratch.  My new project is going to be to deck out my car. I’m …

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Terribly Bad Ideas

I’ve been so stressed lately that I had to try something new. I might be my own boss, as Supreme Ruler of the Underworld, the Eternal and Undying Master of All Wickedness, Garthablog the Twenty-Seventh, but that doesn’t mean I am free of pressure. That pressure may be coming from my own mind, but imagine …

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A Tattoo Tribute

This month has been filled with immense pain and sorrow for my family and I. Our eight-month old puppy Bert, was hit by a car when someone had the gate open to take the bins out. Being the excited, happy and playful puppy that he was, he followed the sound of the bins rumbling against …

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Eye for Design

I’ve always had an eye for design. For many years I was ashamed to say that I wanted to be a designer, because I was told when I was young that design was for women and real work was for men. Being a young boy at the time, I was so disappointed in myself for …

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Offices of Melbourne

Today I had the pleasure of interviewing office workers for the ABRS (Australian Bureau of Random Statistics), to ask about their interior design. I’m not sure why the government needs to know about this stuff, but I guess that’s why we’re the department of random statistics. First, I got in contact with a man named …

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