Building My Castle

I think it’s time I upgraded my lair. You can only survive as an evil scientist in a treehouse for so long before the other supervillains start laughing at you. I had to politely decline my invitation to Villain Con, stating that I was busy “tending to my vast army of venomous cats”, which was a lie. As of yet, I’ve only been able to give my army of cats the ability to drool honey. Not very helpful. At least not when your ambition is to take over the city.

After the disaster that was my giant robot, I realised that my problem is less the equipment and tools I’m using and more about the environment. My childhood treehouse and the backyard of my mum’s house just isn’t cutting it. I’ll have to move out, even if I can’t get mum to cook and wash my lab coat anymore. So I’m going to build a castle.

I’ve been saving up the money in my piggy bank for a rainy day, and I think that is today. The electrical wires of my latest doomsday device really can’t handle the wet weather. I’ll take the money from there and order everything I need for construction. I’m going to start by purchasing decorative windows. Melbourne citizens will gaze at my castle’s windows in awe. Meanwhile, I’ll be building the object of their destruction! Oh, it will be simply delicious.

Of course, I can’t have all my windows be decorative. How would I watch the city burn down before proclaiming myself its overlord? But I don’t want people to be able to see my nefarious schemes coming, so I will need to find Melbourne’s best commercial glass tinting service. There’s a lot of other decisions to be made as well. I need to decide what kind of stone my castle will be made of, what the overall theme and appearance are, and much more. Do I want it to look like a castle from King of the Bling, or those old vampire movies?

– Dr Dark McBane